gulffamily asked:
Cool, the question comes because, we never dated and have a happier married life for over 13 years now. There are many communities in Asea, India and Middle east, where dating is an unknown subject. Their marriages are long lasting than ours. (I have reports saying so). In such case, why do we date? Is it because we
1. Fear for the compatibility?
2. Lack self confidance that we can not get along with strangers?
3. lack adjusting with each other?
4. Do not take a chance for future?
5. take it as an experiement before marriage?
6. Just love the fun with out a family commitment?
7. Find reasons to hang around with many people?
Or anyother reasons on your thinking?
Cool, the question comes because, we never dated and have a happier married life for over 13 years now. There are many communities in Asea, India and Middle east, where dating is an unknown subject. Their marriages are long lasting than ours. (I have reports saying so). In such case, why do we date? Is it because we
1. Fear for the compatibility?
2. Lack self confidance that we can not get along with strangers?
3. lack adjusting with each other?
4. Do not take a chance for future?
5. take it as an experiement before marriage?
6. Just love the fun with out a family commitment?
7. Find reasons to hang around with many people?
Or anyother reasons on your thinking?
Thanks in Advance
Hi Martin d,
I am not excluding the Christians here. Middle east has a Christian population of over 30%. India and Asian countries also have equally or more Christians in there. Do not make things religious, which are the cultures of the lands. The rituals may be different between religions, but the basis of marriage is the social customs that rules the inhabitants for years and years.
because you want to get to know the person and fall in love with them before your married, because for all you know the person could be a rapist
Left by BABYGIRL on March 9th, 2010
To check for compatibility.
Left by eaglecpo on March 12th, 2010
In Western culture, we are raised to marry someone for love. And nobody wants to spend the rest of their lives with someone they don’t feel a connection to.
Left by Diamond on March 14th, 2010
get used to how the other male/female is and then you can get married
Left by Gangstar O on March 16th, 2010
because its better to know your partner before commetting with him/her!
Left by nisreen on March 16th, 2010
Well you gotta know what the’re like.
they could be a murder dude for all you know
Left by Noonz on March 18th, 2010
Because we are told to know the person we marry before it happens………and in my case, you can’t know anyone even if you live a decade together……or you know instantly what kind of person they are……so dating shouldn’t take time……this is my view.
Left by Just me on March 19th, 2010
I think those are all good reasons but I think our culture also values freedom and good judgement. And its based on a romantic idea, where other cultures are less based on romance and more on practicality. As for your reports, it doesn’t ask how many of those women are dying to leave those marriages but can’t because of the social implications in those countries. God bless america, I rarely say that but I really mean it…
Left by aries_clare on March 22nd, 2010
I can find you reports saying that smoking will make you grow 3 feet and live to be 120, that doesn’t make it true. Your “reports” are useless. The only reason that people from there have longer marriages is because they are scared to have to pick their own mates, they are arranged marriages, and when one or both are unhappy, they just live with it. Well, here, we date, because we have a choice, and when we are unhappy, we chose to end the relationship. Why would you spend your whole life with someone you cannot stand and give up finding the person you were meant to be with.
Left by larmarine83 on March 24th, 2010
I think the reason is to get to know each other and decide who we want to spend our lives with. I believe that this should be a choice, not something that someone, ie. our families, force on us. Staying married out of fear of shaming our parents, is not a happy marriage, to say the least.
Left by toocoolringlady on March 26th, 2010
Yeah.. I hear about how long-lasting these arranged marriages can be, but I don’t hear anything about their happiness.
I know happy arranged marriages exist (one of my old school friends was the product of one), but I guess I’m not convinced about the majority of them.
A lot of it is obviously to do with culture and what you’re brought up to expect. I just expect to make my own choice with respect to my marriage partner as well as with anything else to do with my own life. Mistakes will be made along the way, but at least I’m living with MY mistakes and not someone elses.
Left by Jules on March 29th, 2010
its coz one needs to know the other very well now a days..
who knows whether the good-attitude person is a very good actor too…..???
Left by arun_moon2004 on March 30th, 2010
That is the stupidest question! Do you really not know why people date?
BECAUSE THEY WANT TO KNOW EACH OTHER!
Couples would like to get to know each other before they decide to spend the rest of their lives together. Did that make any sense to you?
Left by VeryHonest on March 31st, 2010
It is Very simple
The answer is
1) no belief in yourself and others.
2) Excuse making Mentality.
3) Postponement of life nature.
4) Extortion feeling.
Left by THEJO K on April 2nd, 2010
You re meant to. In Christianity were are meant to, we have engagements. Betrothal is when you try out sex with your partner.
In some cultures, there concept of love is secondary or absent and it is only about having sex for reproduction. What a good thing we have a choice in the west, what makes Christianity superior is this recognition of people, both people in a marriage..
Left by martin d on April 2nd, 2010
1. We date because we are interested in the person. JMO and only JMO.
2. No lack of self-confidence here, I dated my husband, because I saw his self-confidence and how he carried himself, and he saw my self-confidence and how I carried myself.
3. We hooked up pretty well, when we first met!
4. Go ahead, take that “chance”, I did, have not regretted it for the last 16 years now.
5. In matters of the heart, you do not experiment, test eachother, or play games, it is for real, if you want to “experiment” or “test eachother”, or “play games” then you are so not ready for a relationship yet.
6. You can love the fun without a family committment a lot of people do, they do not need a piece of paper to show everyone that they are committed, it is their choice, and who cares what other people think??
7. People date before marriage because they are looking for the right one, and that is the way I found my hubby of 16 years. The person you are looking for will just not come knocking on your front door.
Left by carriegreen13 on April 5th, 2010
I have a couple of friends from India who have arranged marriages, and they seem to be very approving of that practice. It has worked out fine for them, and I think that’s great. To me it sounds more like a partnership and less like the sort of romantic marriages that Western cultures usually have. But that doesn’t mean it can’t work.
Personally, I can’t imagine being married to someone I didn’t choose myself. I think people date to find out whether or not they’re compatible with each other. I’d hate to be stuck with someone who drives me nuts constantly.
Left by Kelly on April 5th, 2010
Marriages without dating most of the time result in compromises only..And mainly bcoz you have never known any other guy/woman better than the present partner you just accept what you get..Inside story is that they are not always successful..and when successful then you may say that you start loving even a stray dog if you keep living with it for yrs and yrs..
Left by Marishka on April 8th, 2010
Why, in either case, is marriage looked upon as the goal and not part of the journey?
Left by punxsutawney phil on April 9th, 2010